From Restless to Thriving

What if your restlessness isn’t a problem—but an invitation?

Photo by Timotheus Fröbel on Unsplash

I’m an Enneagram 7, which means restlessness is practically a spiritual gift.

I finish one project and immediately start thinking about the next adventure—another gathering, another idea, another improvement I should make to my life.

For years I assumed this meant something was wrong with me.

Now I’m beginning to suspect it might actually be how God gets my attention.

What are you restless about right now?

Not unhappy.
Not failing.

Just that quiet feeling that something in your life is ready for more.

Many of the most important shifts in our lives begin exactly there.

Restlessness.

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The Apple Tree Problem

Imagine your life is like an apple tree.

You notice the apples could be better—larger, juicier, brighter red. So you focus all your effort on improving the fruit.

You strategize.
Push harder.
Try new techniques.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Eventually we grow frustrated and start shouting at the tree:

Grow faster. Produce more. Be better.

Sound familiar?

Many leaders spend enormous energy trying to improve the fruit of their lives—performance, success, influence, results—while ignoring the roots and the soil.

But fruit cannot be forced.

It grows naturally from healthy roots in good soil.

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Jesus’ Quiet Lesson About Growth

Jesus told a short parable that speaks directly to this.

In Luke 13, a vineyard owner complains that a fig tree hasn’t produced fruit for three years and suggests cutting it down.

But the gardener replies:

“Let’s give it another year. I’ll dig around it and fertilize, and maybe it will produce next year; if it doesn’t, then chop it down.” (Luke 13:8)

Notice what the gardener does.

He doesn’t shame the tree.
He cultivates it.

He loosens the soil.
He nourishes the roots.
He gives it time.

Real fruitfulness rarely comes from pressure.

It comes from cultivation.

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What Actually Changes Us

Psychologists Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud discovered something remarkably similar in decades of clinical work with people facing addiction, depression, and trauma.

Lasting change didn’t happen by focusing only on behavior to impact results—the fruit.

Transformation happened when the roots of a person’s life were strengthened.

Townsend often describes three nutrients that help those roots grow:

Grace
We experience change when we are deeply known and still loved—by God and by safe people.

Truth
Wise friends, mentors, coaches and sacred time with God helps us see what we cannot see ourselves.

Time
Real transformation rarely happens quickly. God seems remarkably patient with human growth.

Truth without grace crushes us.
Grace without truth leaves us stuck.

But grace, truth, and time together create the soil where change grows.

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Thriving While the Fruit Is Still Growing

Here’s the surprising part.

Thriving doesn’t begin after everything in our lives is fixed.

It can begin while the fruit is still growing.

When we cultivate our roots and nourish the soil—through grace, truth, and time—our relationships deepen, our leadership matures, and our faith becomes steadier.

The fruit comes eventually.

But peace can come sooner.

Frederick Buechner wrote:

“The God of biblical faith meets us at those moments when we are most human, most ourselves.”

And long before him, St. Augustine observed:

“Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

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So What Can You Do About Restlessness?

Instead of trying to fix it, try listening to it.

Ask yourself:

Where might God be tending the soil of my life right now?

Is it an invitation to:

• receive more grace
• hear some truth you’ve been avoiding
• or allow time to do its quiet work?

It took me years to realize that what I called ambition might actually be something deeper. I’m still learning this myself. My natural wiring pushes me toward the next idea, the next project, the next experience. But I’m slowly discovering that thriving doesn’t come from chasing better fruit. It comes from tending the roots—trusting God’s grace, listening to truth, and allowing time to do its quiet work. And the surprising gift is this: even while the fruit is still growing, life can already feel full.

Blaise Pascal, a 17th century French mathematician and philosopher said,

“There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man, which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.”