Leading Through Life’s Storms
Staying Resilient in Hard Times
When Life Hits Hard: Resilience for Leaders
If you’re in leadership long enough, life will hit you hard. Cancer, divorce, financial crises, aging parents, rebellious teenagers, or your own mental health struggles—it’s not a matter of if, but when.
I know this firsthand. I’ve navigated cancer treatments that left me exhausted, endured the heartbreak of divorce, and now face the realities of aging in ways my younger self never imagined. And yet, like many of you, I still had to show up for clients, teams, my spouse, and family responsibilities. Leadership doesn’t pause when life gets messy.
So—how do you stay productive, resilient, and present without falling apart? And just as importantly—how do you give yourself permission to fall apart at times—with the right people?
What the Research Says
Resilience isn’t about ignoring pain—it’s about managing it wisely. Science backs up what seasoned leaders already know:
1. Routines Anchor You
Daily rituals, exercise, and consistent sleep reduce stress and sharpen focus. Your brain craves predictability when everything else feels uncertain.
During my cancer treatments, coaching wasn’t a burden—it was a lifeline. Having meaningful work and goals lifted me out of despair and gave me purpose.
2. Relationships Buffer Stress
Harvard’s 80-year longitudinal study confirms that close relationships—not wealth or status—are the single greatest predictor of resilience.
In divorce, I leaned on a Divorce Care group and my “Friday Night Friends” community. My sister Janet prayed with me every morning. Without that loving constancy, I don’t know how I would have stood tall each day.
My mentor John Townsend taught me the power of Relational Needs: God’s Plan A is safe people who meet us where we are. (See his book People Fuel.)
3. Purpose Fuels Perseverance
Viktor Frankl showed that meaning sustains us through suffering.
Now in my 70s, facing another cancer recurrence, my purpose in relationship with God pushes me to model faith, hope, and peace.
Since childhood, I’ve wanted to help people grow. That calling still delights me daily.
If you’ve lost touch with your purpose, do the work. My Life As Art e-book may help: Life As Art.
4. Self-Compassion is Performance Fuel
Dr. Kristin Neff’s research reveals that self-compassion—not self-criticism—increases motivation and resilience.
Brene Brown’s teaching and Neff’s work were game changers for me.
Positive Intelligence (PQ) training has helped me soften my inner critic, live with greater empathy, and put faith into action. I’ll be starting new PQ groups this fall—email me if interested: elaine@elainemorris.com. Info on Elaine's PQ Groups
Every Decade Has Its Dragons
It helps to normalize that challenges change with age. You’re not failing—you’re simply human.
30s: Building careers, finding partners, raising kids. Exhaustion is normal.
40s: Juggling teenagers, aging parents, and career pressure. The “sandwich years.”
50s: Health wake-up calls, career peaks, and reinvention. What used to work may not.
60s+: Facing your own aging while still leading, mentoring, caregiving. Legacy questions grow louder.
Recognizing this helps leaders extend grace to themselves and others.
Lessons from the Fire
Chemotherapy taught me the power of micro-rests: two-minute pauses to breathe, pray, and reset before meetings.
Divorce showed me that leaning on a small circle of trusted friends is more stabilizing than trying to be “strong” alone.
Aging reminds me daily to spend my energy only where it matters most.
The storms stripped away illusions that I had to do it all, fix it all, or hold it all together perfectly.
Practical Anchors for Executives
If you’re navigating hard times right now, consider these four practices:
Simplify ruthlessly: Cut non-essential commitments. Protect health, key relationships, and core work.
Invest in recovery: Sleep, exercise, and downtime aren’t luxuries—they’re survival strategies.
Lean on others: Identify 2–3 trusted people to be fully honest with. Don’t carry it all alone.
Name your purpose: Ask, What bigger mission makes this pain worth enduring? Write it down. Revisit daily.
The Leader’s Ripple Effect
Your team, family, and community aren’t watching for perfection. They’re watching for authenticity. Resilient leaders model that it’s possible to face hardship while still leading with strength, grace, and humanity.
The storms you weather now may well become someone else’s survival guide later.
Closing Thought
You don’t need to outrun the storm. You need to anchor in what matters most.
Productivity and resilience aren’t about pushing harder; they’re about choosing wisely, staying connected emotionally and spiritually, and leading with compassion—for others and yourself.