Coming Back from a Painful Financial Loss

The early ’80s was a great time to be in Dallas in the commercial real estate business. It was the Dallas boom years. People were flocking to the South.

At 30, Dave and his wife were successful entrepreneurs in Dallas.

College sweethearts, they met in painting class at a prestigious college in the west. Dave, a gifted artist, also had a head for business and finance. He graduated with a double major in fine art and business. He later studied at the Wharton School to round out his education.

The early ’80s was a great time to be in Dallas in the commercial real estate business. It was the Dallas boom years. People were flocking to the South. Business and career opportunities were abundant. But little did they know what was coming in just a few short years!

Because of deregulation and other factors, real estate lending was lucrative, especially with large upfront fees. Banks and other commercial financial companies expanded to meet the demand, increasing their exposure. Money flowed and projects multiplied.

Dave’s company thrived during these years and he expanded quickly. He and his family lived in a majestic historic home in the coveted Turtle Creek neighborhood. They had three children and participated in many cultural and community activities.

Janet, a nurturer at heart, contributed informally in the care and culture of their hard-working staff. She remembered birthdays and work anniversaries, and hosted holiday parties.

As a leader, Dave provided generous salaries and shared abundant bonuses as his company grew. Their life and business looked picture perfect and all that one could aspire to. 

The Crash

However, their idyllic and comfortable lives came tumbling down in the late ’80s when the real estate market crashed. Historically, commercial real estate is a cyclical business. This time when the markets turned, the government took over and revalued real estate. The number of banks that failed and the amount of losses suffered in Dallas in the late ’80s was unprecedented. 

Dave and Janet lost their business, their home and cars—and were $20 million in debt. With three small children it was overwhelming.

Janet told me in a recent interview: “We had several friends in our community who were so devastated they committed suicide. It was an awful time. Texas unemployment was really high—there was no work, and people were really struggling.”

No longer able to pay for their children’s private education, the school gave them a scholarship for the next two years. Janet recalls, “That was a miracle and really helped to be able to keep our children in the same school after losing our home. But it was a rough time. I couldn’t buy my children any new clothes for the next few years. My eldest daughter got my hand-me-downs. Her younger sister got her hand-me-downs. I recall one day when a school parent asked us to contribute to a charity that we normally supported. I was embarrassed that I had to say no, and she looked at me like, Really? But truly we couldn’t even give $20. It was really rough going for several years. It took us 10 years to get out of that hole.”

Prayer and Attitude

I asked Dave, “How did you deal with all this?” 

“Well,” he said, “I got up and out each morning and went out the door like I had a job. I spent a lot of time in the Christian Science reading room and I prayed a lot. It helped me keep the right attitude. It was the most important thing that kept my head on straight or I would not have been able to face each day. … Mainly I got through it with prayer and positive mental focus. Gosh, it was really encouraging. ’Cause if you can come back from that, what could hurt you?”

Creative Adaptation

Dave and Janet harnessed their creativity as they searched for a new home. Happily they found a deal on a duplex to relocate their family. Each side was not big enough, so they cut a pathway hall through it. It was a far cry from the spectacular home in Highland Park, but they got it at a rock bottom price, given the market, and they used both sides for their growing family. 

With Janet’s design talent, they made it into a lovely home—one side where they enjoyed sophisticated tall ceilings and lots of light and the other side with plenty of play space for the children. A connecting hallway with the convenience of two kitchens made it very unique and kind of fun, with a built-in sandbox on the children’s side. It was actually a kid’s paradise. All their friends wanted to hang out there.

The Breakthrough

Dave continued to get out each day, fully dressed in a suit, like he had a job to go to, and continued to pray to manage his fear.

“I stayed really open-minded and I would talk to anyone. Because there wasn’t any work, I had plenty of time to talk to lots of people. I figured something would show up. You may have to ask 100 times to get a good answer.”

Finally, one day Dave talked to some Canadian partners who agreed to provide a small infusion of money so he could start back into business.

“It shows you that anything is possible,” he said.

He attributes his prayer life to giving him guidance in his interactions with them. He recalled making the investors an offer that would have him stand out among many competing developers who were desperate for funding and looking to cut the best deal. 

Janet elaborated, “Dave was invested with some property that had made a gain.

So when he threw in with these partners, one of the first things he felt led to do was to include them in that gain. Even though they had nothing to do with that acquisition and the gain it made, he thought it was the right thing to do. It gave them trust in him to make him head over all his operations that they had in Dallas. Even though we didn’t have a lot at that time, he felt that that was the right thing to do.”

Comeback Lessons

The business started growing again and their family weathered the storm in spite of all the changes they went through. 

I love to share their story because it is such a great example of a dramatic loss caused by circumstances mostly out of their control. And it shows that how they responded made all the difference. Together they turned to a greater power they knew, a spiritual connection with God that they leaned on heavily to give them comfort, strength and confidence to get back up again. 

Many of us would feel so beaten down we couldn’t function. Perhaps they didn’t have that luxury with three small children. They focused on their faith, creatively adapting and expressed their long held value of generosity—which I bet won them the trust of the deep-pocketed investors. 

In listening to them retell their story recently, I heard no evidence of ever feeling sorry for themselves. Or asking “why me?They demonstrated a level of positive intelligence that kept them in effective action. They did not deny the hard stuff, they just didn’t stay stuck there.

To have so quickly adapted in such creative and successful ways I just wonder if they were born that way, learned it somewhere, or just too stubborn to fail. Maybe it’s a combination of all three, along with supernatural help. Somehow these two people, only in their 30s at the time with three small children, managed to relocate, keep their kids in school, get investors and launch a new business in record time. 

Today, they are grandparents that enjoy taking their kids on exotic trips around the world. They are enjoying life in the Hill Country outside of Austin, Texas. When they look back on that time, Janet still remembers how she couldn’t buy new clothes for her kids. Knock on wood, that was one of the worst failures. There were other up’s and down’s in their lives, of course. This one perhaps prepared them for future upsets, setbacks and losses. It built resilience, I’m betting. I don’t know of any other way that resilience grows, except through facing the toughest stuff. It’s the inside stuff that matters, after all.